Sometimes between the years 1837 and 1838 Charles Darwin was pondering one of the more important questions of his life – whether he should marry or not. Being a scientist he approached the question methodically and scrawled in pencil on scraps of papers the following pros and cons list.
MARRY
Children—(if it please God)— constant companion, (friend in old age) who will feel interested in one, object to be beloved and played with—better than a dog anyhow—Home, and someone to take care of house—Charms of music and female chit-chat. These things good for one’s health. Forced to visit and receive relations but terrible loss of time.
Imagine living all one’s day solitarily in smoky dirty London House.—Only picture to yourself a nice soft wife on a sofa with good fire, and books and music perhaps—compare this vision with the dingy reality of Grt Marlboro’ St. Marry—Marry—Marry Q.E.D.
Not MARRY
No children, (no second life) no one to care for one in old age.—
What is the use of working without sympathy from near and dear friends—who are near and dear friends to the old except relatives. Freedom to go where one liked—Choice of Society and little of it. Conversation of clever men at clubs.—Not forced to visit relatives, and to bend in every trifle—to have the expense and anxiety of children—perhaps quarrelling. Loss of time—cannot read in the evenings—fatness and idleness —anxiety and responsibility—less money for books etc—if many children forced to gain one’s bread.—(But then it is very bad for one’s health to work too much) Perhaps my wife won’t like London; then the sentence is banishment and degradation with indolent idle fool—
On the reverse side of the page comes the summing up
It being proved necessary to marry—When? Soon or Late. The Governor says soon for otherwise bad if one has children—one’s character is more flexible—one’s feelings more lively, and if one does not marry soon, one misses so much good pure happiness.—
But then if I married tomorrow: there would be an infinity of trouble and expense in getting and furnishing a house,—fighting about no Society—morning calls—awkwardness—loss of time every day—(without one’s wife was an angel and made one keep industrious)—Then how should I manage all my business if I were obliged to go every day walking with my wife.—Eheu!! I never should know French,—or see the Continent,—or go to America, or go up in a Balloon, or take solitary trip in Wales—poor slave—And then horrid poverty (without one’s wife was better than an angel and had money)—Never mind my boy—Cheer up—One cannot live this solitary life, with groggy old age, friendless and cold and childless staring one in one’s face, already beginning to wrinkle. Never mind, trust to chance—keep a sharp look out.—There is many a happy slave—
On November 11 1838 Emma Darwin accepted Charles Darwin’s marriage proposal, they got married on January 29 1839. They had ten children and she was a crucial factor in her husband’s scientific accomplishments.
This is from the “Mario’s Entangled Bank” blog ( http://pineda-krch.com ) of Mario Pineda-Krch, a theoretical biologist at the University of California, Davis.
